||Gods' Best||

This weekend was a lot of fun. We slept out under the stars, went to a retreat, hung out with some awesome people, worshiped the King, played games, and ate well.

But this weekend I was yet again, reminded of my humanness.

I forgot to rest during the business and my body betrayed my invincible mind. So, I laid down. An hour later, I got up and felt rejuvenated and restored, ready for some evening activities.  

It's amazing, God has been continuously reminding me that, that is (for the most part) all I really need to do.

I think, maybe, it's because He's jealous for my attention.

I use to get so frustrated with my back pain. Not only would I live in frustration but I didn't do much to change the fact that I was in pain. I just lived with it for a while. Always accepting prayer, believing (and I still believe) that God could take it away completely but I hardly took pain medicine, never gave chiropractors a chance and wasn't intentional about rest. I didn't trust that God could use the resources and people around me to help relieve the pain. I wanted to wake up one morning, pray that God would take it away and testify to a miracle like that!

Those testimonies are amazing that's why, for so long I neglected help from others. I wanted that to be my story. But it wasn't Gods' best for me.

Gods' best for me has been stretching me to trust more, grow in patience and ultimately spend more time with Him.

Being honest with the people around me has kept me vulnerable and humble. It's not always easy to admit I can't do something because it hurts too much. I love adventure and spontaneity but at times, I've had to say “no” because of my back, in order to function better. I've also ignored my body, more times than I care to admit suffering the consequences later.

But slowly through a process of being unrivaled over the past eight months Jesus has been mending, shaping and molding me into the identity He has for me. And right now, that includes medicine, rest and being taken care of by others.

On the days when I take an hour to lay down and spend time with the Lord I feel His fullness revive me.

I often picture my back as a battery. Plugging it in for an hour (even after a good nights’ sleep) to keep myself going for the rest of day.

Maybe God is just helping me to choose time with Him more often. I don't mind it now like I use to, in fact I'm thankful.

I still let my flesh get the best of me some days, neglecting the hour I know I need. And there is no formula, some days the hour is more sometimes less.

But the difference is so evident for me now, that I can’t ignore what I see God doing.

So, for now, I’ll do my best to prioritize rest and enjoy the one who permissioned me to do so.

-DG